Every queen has a handmaiden, every handmaiden a dream. Every queen has her story, I am always two steps behind. Inside Theed palace the night between the invasion and the escape I can’t sleep, every time I close my eyes and try to calm down the anxiety and fear creep up on me. It is still night, but it isn’t dark, I used to love these bright summer nights, when the air is still warm and the daylight hangs on between dusk and dawn, but not tonight. The air is hot and humid, it presses on every part of my skin, not even the mild breeze from the lake can take this heat away, and then there are the shadows. Eerie and dark, the dusky might gives them only more contours than they have in daylight. I must get up, I can’t just lie down anymore, I’m sweating and my bed feel like an oven, hot and uncomfortable. It is refreshing just to stand up, but I better open the window as wide as possible. I want to let the breeze sweep into my room, take away some of this compact and humid air. The bleak sky is so beautiful tonight, and the moon seems to have turned the waters around Theed to silver, how wonderful it would be to swim in silver… again… But I can’t get out, they are watching us, standing guard at every door, if I just glanced out in the hallway I would see at least a dozen. Guards, I can’t call them that, they are just droids. Ugly, stupid droids, doing whatever their controller wants them to do. I hate them! In a way it is ironic that I, Eirtaé Saccariva Vallimé, descendant of the man who first liberated Theed and then built this palace, shouldn’t be able to get out of my room, being a prisoner in my own home, guarded by foolish robots. My hands are trembling, I hope that it is because of my anger, but it can be because of my fears too. I don’t know what will happen, not to me, the others or my family. It would be foolish of the neimodians to kill us, at least before Padme has signed the treaty, but the Trade Federation isn’t known for its intelligence. I wish mum was here, or just anyone in my family, just someone that I could take to from the bottom of my heart. But they are all better off out in the countryside, just leaving me, the handmaiden, in the palace, but I feel so lonely right now. I can’t speak as openly to any of the others here, not even Yané. They are my friends, but there is some kind of gap between us anyway, is it because I’m the oldest? Is it my background, or simply the fact that I was so close to be elected queen myself? If only senator Palpatine hadn’t given his support to Padme, but to me, his own grand niece, instead… Would all this had happened if I had been the queen instead of Padme? Maybe I should be satisfied and relieved that it is Padme who has to take all the important decisions, and face the consequences. Still I know that I wouldn’t have let this army of robots into Theed without a fight, I wouldn’t have been taken prisoner as easily. What was it mum used to say to when I was younger ” Rira, just because your ancestors were great warriors doesn’t mean that you have to be one too, Naboo is a peaceful society, you have to control yourself” Well I did learn to control myself, is that why I turned to politics instead, because I wanted to fuel my energy into something that would help my people? Maybe I’m just born in the wrong millennium, now my position is too humble to make a difference. I am after all just a handmaiden; I am always two steps behind the queen. The sun is starting to rise now, I can see how it colours the sky pink, there are still some hours though before I have to get up, to whatever destiny that awaits me. I’m tired now, the bed feels cooler now, the worst heat has drifted away. I will try to sleep, try to ignore my own thoughts, try to dream… Theed Palace early morning I hear crying. The room is flooded with daylight, I must have fallen asleep atlas, but now I’m fully awake again. Someone is sobbing; it’s coming from the left, that’s Yané’s room. I must go in there and see what’s wrong with here, comfort her. I don’t need to get dressed; I will just put my green shawl over my shoulders. There shouldn’t be anyone in the hallway this early, well of course the droids will be there, but they can hardly be interested in a handmaiden running around in her nightgown, at least as long as I don’t threaten to escape. I open the door, peaking out, there is nobody there, no humans there I should say. The watchdroids stand there, silent and metallic as the robots they are. Just six quick steps out into the hallway, and I’m in Yané’s room. The poor girl looks so helpless, sitting there on her bed, arms around her knees, tears falling from her eyes and into her messy hair. I sit down beside her, put my arms around here, trying to seem as confident as possible. I pull her hair away from her face. -“Oh, Rira, I’m so afraid, her voice cracks, tired from the crying. -“We are all afraid, , I try to comfort her as good as I can, we are all afraid, but we have to go on anyway. We have our duties and responsibilities, even in times like these. -“I can go on, but what about my family, wont they put pressure on our families to make sure that her highness signs the treaty, she looks up on me with her dark, shiny eyes. Her words shock me, I haven’t thought about that, would they do something like that? All the time when I’ve been involved in politics mum and dad have been there, supporting me with money, contacts, well my name have surely helped me, but I have always been the one who’s had to take the consequences for my own actions. Is it time for them to get punished because of me now? -“Don’t worry, Yané, if they are going to do something to our families, they are likely to start with Padme’s or my own. As horrible as it is, your family is probably safe, they are rich, but remember that it is the queen’s decision, and it would affect her more if her family was put under pressure or a family that is seen as one of the oldest on Naboo, going back to king Amro himself, I think for myself. I try to smile towards Yané, but I can’t. I feel my own fears coming back; feel my chest being tied into a big knot, making it so hard to breath. Oh, what will happen to me, my family, our people? -” I admire you Rira, that you can be so objective about it all. You seem to never get panicked, not even now. Yané says quietly. Objective! Is that how they look upon me, as cold and correct in all situations. I may not be the kind of person who shows all my emotions in public, I’ve lived to long around this palace for that, but does that mean that they think I don’t have them. I don’t think I’m that different to the others, and certainly not compared with Padme. Or am I simply reading too much into Yané’s words, as tired as I am right now? I smile towards her; maybe I can get her to think about something else for a moment. I take a deep breath to gather as much strength and sound as confident as possible. ”-What do you think we should be wearing, Yané, I think I will go and ask Padme about that. The weather is really hot right now, I hope we wont have to wear anything heavy, my words seem to have a soothing effect on her, and she shines up. Yané has always been the one of us most interested in clothes. But for some reason I’m feeling better too, to see someone weak and afraid makes me strong, it gives me the a feeling of responsibility, I have to take care of more than just myself. I have to carry on, I can’t show any weakness, for Yané’s sake, and for the others. Theed Palace morning I knock on Padmé’s door, or rather Sabé’s, but it is Padmé who is sleeping there since they switched places. Maybe it was good that I didn’t become queen, it would have been much harder to find another blonde than it is to find dark haired girls around here. Padmé looks remarkably fresh, how can she be so calm and in control all the time? Or is she just like me, making sure that the surface looks right, careful not to show any real emotions to people you don’t completely trust? At least she hasn’t taken off her nightgown yet, then I can suggest what I think we should be wearing today. -Padmé, I say making sure to keep up the charade, I was just going to suggest to her highness that we handmaidens should wear the bright orange dresses, you know the ones with red skirts and the hoods, what do you think? I talk on before she gets the chance to respond. - They are very comfortable and very suitable for the weather right now, the hoods will also give us all a great deal of anonymity. She should like that reason for wearing them. -I don’t know, she hesitates, her highness is wearing black, very solemn, are you sure we should wear something as bright and colourful, why can’t we take the blue ones with the dark hoods instead? Well I do have one last argument, I can just as well try it, I hope she doesn’t think that it is obvious what I’m getting at. -Wearing red and orange would also be very symbolic, I look straight into her brown eyes, just think about the picture in the great hallway... I hope she understands the point I want to make. The giant old-fashioned painting that takes up most of the southern hallway is so beautiful, showing king Amro returning to the ruins of Theed to reclaim his kingdom. I wonder how many hours I’ve spent in front of that scene, king Amro, his golden hair surrounding his head like an halo, dressed in a loose yellow skirt and dark red trousers, victorious at last ready to rebuild everything that was destroyed. He is quite handsome too, it’s a pity that he’s been dead for a thousand years. - I see your point, Eirtaé, she says, for some reason it seems that she’s almost laughing, even if her highness does express the seriousness of this dreadful time, we should defy it. After all I am sure that we will get support from the senate, and then we will be as triumphant as king Amro himself. I’m sure that the queen will refuse to sign any treaty that will give up the sovereignty of Naboo in any way. Tatooine, outside the queen's ship afternoon So we managed to escape Naboo, just to get stuck on this rock in the middle of nowhere. Not exactly according to the plan of the queen, I think, but she takes chance anyway, heading off to that local settlement and that clumsy gungan. Why didn’t I get to go? I would be a much more valuable companion than him, Padmé shouldn’t go either. She might be dressed out as a handmaiden, but she is the queen and she should think more about her own security. I would have been able to relate everything to her afterwards, oh, how I would have loved to go away, see how the locals live here. It would have been such an exciting experience, so different from the nice and civilised Naboo. I heard the jedi say that it’s a rough place, I’m sure I would enjoy it, break away from the handmaiden in me and bring out the little wildcat. The wild side in me that I’ve tamed since childhood, but no, now I’m mature and civilised, stuck on our ship trying to fool everyone with our little charade. I must say that Sabé is doing a fabulous job, I hope nobody suspects that she isn’t the queen, actually I think that we have fooled even the young jedi. Now I can’t see the odd trio anymore, they have disappeared behind the never ending dunes. I think I’ll stay outside a while longer, the journey here was long I spent enough time inside the ship. I hate being trapped in a limited amount of space for more than a couple of hours. This planet is really desolate, everything coated in different shades of brown, everything burnt and tortured by the suns above. Yet it is fascinating in some way, the landscape is so different, and I didn’t even know that planets could be inhabitable in systems with binary suns. Then of course you have the heat, it’s horrible. I can feel how the sweat is dripping down my neck, sticking the hair to the skin, and the hood to the hair. I just have to take the hood off, let the wind filter through my hair and touch my skin. It doesn’t help much though, but it gives an illusion of a soothing breeze. It is just an illusion though, and it only lasts for a moment, you can’t get away from this burning heat. The air is hotter than ever on a summer day back home, it’s so hot that it hurts to take a deep breath. The throat burns, as if it was filled with thousands of grains of salt, as if the suns had burnt through the skin and now burnt me down to my bones. Maybe the sand isn’t just an illusion though, the sand seems to get everywhere. It will probably take weeks until I get rid of all the small grains from my clothes and from my hair. I wonder how people can survive here for a longer time, when every drop of water is a result from a struggle with the planet itself. Maybe I have to get used to the thought, who knows how long it will take to get the parts we need to repair the ship. Who knows, I might stroll away to the settlement and meet a nice and handsome moisture farmer and settle here for good. Just imagine, I Eirtaé Saccariva Vallimé descendant from the founder of the kingdom of Naboo, spending the rest of my life on a little sandy rock planet, without the possibility of even taking a shower after a hard days work, just because there isn’t enough water around! One thing is sure, I wouldn’t have to spend any time teaching my future children to swim. The wind is getting stronger now, twirling the sand around. I start to feel that I’ve been out in the sun for a long time, my skin feels soar, I hope that I haven’t burnt myself, or that I will go around with a pink face for weeks. Sometimes blondes don’t have fun at all. That young jedi has come out, he seems a bit worried, should I worry too then? I wonder how old he is, probably a bit older than he looks. I think he’s quite cute actually, if he was a bit less boyish looking he would probably be really handsome. It’s quite useless to think about it though, a jedi is sworn to the jedi order, he wouldn’t notice me even if I was dressed in something better fitting than these heavy clothes. I wonder if I would be able to make such a commitment, to always serve, not doing anything because I want to do it. It must be a hard life, I wonder if it’s worth it. I know that I might seem to be do the same, serving the queen as her handmaiden, follow all her decisions, but I know that I wont do it for the rest of my life, it’s just a limited period of my life. I will not be a handmaiden for my whole life, I’m not even sure that I want to continue with politics, changing from serving the queen to serve my people, I want to do what Eirtaé wants to do, I think. I still have some years until Amidala’s term is over, if everything even will turn back to normal on Naboo. Yeack, this wind is getting even worse, I think I’m about to experience my first sandstorm. I hope that Padmé and the jedi can seek shelter wherever they are. Panaka has come out too. I can’t hear what he’s shouting, but you don’t need to be a jedi to guess, especially since he’s waving towards me. Calm down, I will get inside, I’m not foolish enough to stay outside in this weather. I’ve had enough of this weather for today, it will be nice to get inside. I also need something to drink before I dry out completely. The Queen’s ship afternoon We must be in graver danger that I thought if our enemies managed to track us to that dustbin, how powerful they must be. It doesn’t make sense, Naboo is just a little unimportant planet, why is this happening to us? Why did the trade federation invade us at all, there are much wealthier planets on the same distance from Coruscant, planets with almost the same level, or rather lack of, defense. I think there is something else going on, but I can’t figure it out, or even come up with an idea about what it could be. That person that attacked the jedi master when he returned to the ship wasn’t neimodian, and clearly not one of their dreadful droids. It is also unlikely that those greedy aliens should have paid a mercenary to find us. And then I saw the weapon he used, it was a lasersword, just like the ones the jedi use, the only difference was the colours, red like melting steel. I thought only jedi used such swords, with blades of raw energy and crystal clear light. I’ve never seen such a fight, I could hear the blades clashing, and I must admire the skill of both the combatants. It was as if they were dancing a horrible and dangerous dance of death, where there would be only winner. Well in this case it ended more in a draw, after all the jedi jumped aboard our ship before the duel had ended. The other ones are sitting with the queen now. I just wanted to come here to the cockpit, look out into the empty space, gaze into the infinity. I might be on a diplomatic mission, but I’ve never travelled through space before, I want to see what it looks like. Yet when I look out through the windows and into the hyperspace, twisting and twirling around us, it is as if all the shadowy shapes are trying to enact the duel on Tatooine. Beauty and horror, terror and fascinating, it’s something that just makes me stand here without loosing my desire to continue watching space. I’m sure the pilots don’t mind, I’m just sitting here doing nothing, saying nothing, disturbing nobody. It’s cold though, much colder than when we left Naboo, or maybe it’s just because we parted from a desert planet. That little boy the jedi brought with him seemed to suffer even more when I went pass him in the hallway. It must be an enormous temperature switch for him. He is certainly something special though, why would he have come with us otherwise, the jedi surely did know that we don’t exactly need free passengers for this travel. Is he going to become a jedi on Coruscant? Or at least when he’s grown up, he’s just a child now. It is probably very hard leaving his family so far behind. I always had my family around, even when I rushed through the different youth administrative programs, yet I know that some of those who had their families outside Theed felt bad about being away for the semesters, only returning home over holidays. How hard must it be then to have half a galaxy between you and your loved ones. I feel sad for him, I wonder if he has realised himself what is happening to him. Maybe I should ask Padmé to go and talk to him before she goes back to just being the queen again. It is probably easier for her to make contact with him, I’m just a total stranger, maybe he even wouldn’t tell me apart from Rabé and Yané. Poor little farm boy, is it really right to charge him with so much responsibility, after all he is so young. On the other hand I led the Theed municipal committee before I was 11, and was a member of the royal judicial council when I was 15. Not strange that most people saw my handmaiden duties as some kind of break from my own political career, those people also then to forget that I was in the running for the royal election, and if you don’t get elected queen and the senator position is filled, what should you do? And Padmé asked me to stay around and help out, after all I was the one with most experience from the court. The queen herself is even younger than I am, just 14 and already a senior politician. There can’t be that much different becoming a jedi at a young age than it is to start work with public service, and it has worked for a long time, at least on Naboo, and probably even longer for the jedi order. Yet is it right just because it’s working? Of course it’s right, you learn everything easier when you are younger, and I can’t remember that I was unhappy when I was younger. I was always surrounded by people of my own age and they had the same interests as I had. I have never heard about a jedi quitting the order, so they can’t be too unsatisfied with their lives either. I think I’ll go back to the others now. We could always play some games to spend the hours left before we reach Tatooine, or maybe it’s time to start prepare what the queen is going to wear on Coruscant. Hmm, I will never again question the necessity of having a almost fully functional ceremonial wardrobe aboard the queen’s ship. I think it’s best that we check out if the micro-grave system has been working, especially after the break through the blockade, if it collapsed it will take an eternity to make sure the clothes are allright again. I don’t exactly feel like spending hours smoothing out the wrinkles on meters of braitt-silk again. It was enough when you had to learn to take care of the clothes. The clothes may be beautiful, but they sure aren’t practical without built in gravsystems in the wardrobes. Coruscant, early evening -Magnificent, yet so strange. I can’t find a suitable word to descreibe this place, this view, this world. Coruscant. In a way it’s remarkable what civilisation has done to this planet, or is civilisation at all, maybe it’s just buildings. When we flew in it looked so beautiful, like a black pearl, shining from within itself, not merely reflecting the light of its distant sun, its glowing light spread over the planet like a thin net, a golden casing for the precious jewel inside. And still when we came down to land you could see that the light was just thousands of light bulbs, the shine was just reflections in the durra steel buildings, and the gold casing was just the crowded transport lanes in the sky. I can’t really relax here, everything is so crowded, I want my personal space, even the deserts of Tatooine were better than this grey and black world of death. Everything is dead here, you can’t hear a bird sing, unless you are in a museum, you can’t see a straw of grass bringing colour and life to the landscape. Even the sky is just filled with the same monotonous stream of vehicles against the dark clouds, bristling with thunder and rain. I’ve always seen myself as a city girl, after all I’ve spent most of my life since childhood in Theed, but there you could always look out through the windows and see the green drumlins surrounding the city. The water you hear is the dripping from the crystal clear waterfalls around the palace, not fierce rain showers, and you always have the choice of leaving, you don’t need to jump into hyperspace to get away, you just need a speeder and a couple of minutes. Just a little time and then you will reach the swamps or climb up and down the gentle slopes of the Maraga mountains. How wonderful would it be to sit on a meadow in the lake countries, instead of standing here watching building after building rise in an endless stream. It is a strange time, here I am gazing out of a window on Coruscant, the centre of the republic, while my family is half the galaxy away, in a remote valley, hidden between the mountains that I long for in this moment. I can only hope that they aren’t suffering, or worse... My heart went all cold when I heard the transmission from Sio Bibble. If the death tolls are catastrophic, how safe can you anywhere on Naboo? How safe is my family? Maybe I should feel more lucky, after all I’m safe here, soon the queen is going to adress the senate, hopefully they will find a solution to this messy business, a fast solution. Yet there is something menacing in the surroundings here, something that makes me uneasy, and even colder than the transmission from Naboo. Something makes me doubt that anything can be won here, maybe this journey has just been in vain. I wish I knew what this feeling was, is it just the unease of standing in a building towering several kilometres above the hidden ground, or is it something about the people we have met here? I feel so alienated here, if it hadn’t been for the other girls I would wonder if it was strange to even think about another planet as home, or even if there was another planet worthy of caring about. Not even the politicians seem to be aware of the galaxy outside of Coruscant’s gravity field, and they are supposed to take the right decisions for us! Maybe the jedi are right and the force binds all living beings together, then maybe this dead planet makes the people living here turn cold, like zombies living detached from the real world outside. Is it possible for such a dead world to be the home of anything alive, or is everything around here in a state of dying. If that’s the case, does that include the republic too? After all how many times hasn’t it been described as living, pulsating with the life from all it’s participating planets. Why am I so pessimistic? We haven’t even visited the senate yet, we have only been talking to senator Palpatine, and even if I don’t really trust him after the elections on Naboo, he is the one who knows how everything works here. I should give him, and the senate a chance first, after all queen Amidala is still optimistic, and we can’t do anything but wait. Tomorrow we will see what happens. Coruscant Early afternoon So it just came to this, came to nothing. I feel like I could start to cry any moment now. Tears are flooding my eyes, my breath is hold back by the anger, the desperation, the hopelessness of it all. I can’t cry now though, I just can’t, I have to stay strong, keep my dignity. If I break the others might follow, and I can’t allow that to happen. I really thought that the senate would listen to us, take a decision, help us, at least do something. It was just a waste of time, they weren’t even interested, more satisfied of course with topping the chancellor than actually solve a problem. Why should they care? What would they gain on helping an unimportant planet bordering on the Outer Rim. When we sat there in the Naboo platform I felt squeezed in among the people and the creatures, all dressed in expensive materials and metals, all bought with money from guilds, parties and every other cooperation wanting to have a say in politics, nothing bought with well earned money. I wonder how many senators are on the payroll of the Trade Federation? Those greedy creatures seem to be able to buy anything they want in here, even a platform for their own senator. Is this what politics have become, a matter of listening to the one with the most money, ignoring everything that doesn’t gain you materially. Were all those years that I have spent in the political system just wasted? Now when I see how the system really works it feels as if it was just useless. Nothing I ever did, or may do, can ever change this corrupted heart of the Republic. I’ve tried to accomplish things, but I have just supported a system filled with greedy senators, more hungry after power than interested in how their decisions affect the galaxy. Democracy works at home, but not here, it’s impossible not to notice that here. Amidala looks so sad when we returned from the senate, did she also see it all as just a wasted effort, a failure? What are we going to do now? It’s all her decision, she was elected to take this burden, and for once I’m relieved that it isn’t me who’s face is painted white. What would I do if it was my responsibility to find a solution, or even a glimmer of hope in this situation? If politics doesn’t work, maybe it’s necessary to use brute force, but how would we get hold of an army large enough to defeat the Trade Federation? We can’t ask the Jedi order to help us, they are loyal to the senate. Can the Jedi even fight a war? They are negotiators, peacekeepers, they wouldn’t side with anyone in a full scale war. Naboo hasn’t seen a full-scale war for over a thousand years, but now I think that it is inevitable. The queen has to decide soon, I would just love to return, if she wants to stay here I wouldn’t know what to do. Even occupied Naboo is a better place than this dreadful planet. I can’t understand why Palpatine wants to continue to serve as a senator here year after year. I don’t even think that he has been home since he was appointed senator, not even for the royal elections. One would think he cared to be more involved in the politics of his home world. Is he also one of those false senators that swamp this place? He seems to be too satisfied with the result in the senate, or was he just mentally prepared that this would happen. At least he has gained some influence, but will it change our situation if he is chosen supreme chancellor? I don’t trust him, I just can’t after he let me down in the elections at home, choosing to support a 14 year old girl without much of experience outside the legislative assemblies. I wonder if one reason for my dislike of Coruscant is that I have to rely on people that I dislike and distrust? I hate note being able to tell what I feel, having to be careful of every word I speak, since it can always be interpreted and twisted to serve the purposes of others. That’s one good thing with being a handmaiden though, nobody seems to listen or care about us, we are just standing here in the background, silent. I’ve never felt this hopeless before, but I just can’t see a solution to our dilemma. I’ve always found answers to my problems, but now I just feel like I have a black hole inside me, a black hole that is absorbing every glimpse of hope that I have in my heart and in my soul. This black hole only grows with time, I can’t just sit here anymore, I want to act, do something. I hope Amidala feels like this too, we have to leave, we have to return, this is not a time for petty Coruscant politics, it is a desperate Naboo, Theed The moment has come, we are hurrying through the deserted streets of Theed. We have to be quick, we have to be silent, we have to succeed. The gungan army counts many soldiers, but the y are primitive, they wont stand a chance against their mechanised opponents. No, we are the ones who will have to win this battle, we have to…The queen is leading us, I wonder if her stomach is also twisting and turning, if her heart is beating stronger than ever before, making the blood rush pu to the head and out to every fingertip. When I raise my hand with the fingers clutched around the blaster I’m trembling, even if I’m used to the weight and usually very steady on the hand. I have to control myself better, I can’t shoot straight if I continue to shake like this. I hope that nobody is noticing it. We are slowly getting closer to the palace, soon, we will enter the hangar, soon we will make it possible for the pilots to take off and attack the droid control ships. I walk behind the others, covering their backs, is it a compliment to be assigned to cover, or does she want me out of the way? I hear distants sounds of canons, the battle has started out there, we haven’t much time now. I felt a bit sorry for Sabé when Padmé declared that she was the queen in front of the boss. Sabé had really done a good job, on the other hand in front of the gungan leadership you could see the difference between a legislative graduate and a student. After all Padmé managed to convince them, and now they are fighting with us, it is a remarkable day, but we have to make sure that we survive to remember it. Now I rush into the hangar, finally. I’m not the first one, and I have to duck from the lasers that are coming sizzling over my head. Everything is so slow now, like slow-motion, and it’s silent. I don’t hear the screams of the wounded, or when the metal bodies of the droids tumbles down on the floor. What is happening? Why can’t I just run away? No, I can’t I have to stay, I have do my duty, I have to fight for this society that I love, or it will die under the hands of the Trade Federation. I look hastily above the big box that has been my protection, and draw my blaster. There’s no time to get a decent aim, I just shoot, and shoot, and shoot again. The droids are getting decimated, we are advancing. Suddenly I hear the first roaming of an fighter-engine coming to life, the pilots have reached their ships and are taking off. We can’t be sure that they succeed, so we have to succeed in here instead. I follow the other, the jedi and the queen are going in the front, we have almost secured the hangar it’s time to go into the main palace. It’s thrilling to realise that we have actually secured the first part of the buildings. I don’t feel nervous anymore either, my hand is steady, is it because I don’t have to worry about killing my enemy? The enemies are just machines and droids, simple and without feelings, they are no different than the targets I’ve practised on since I first learnt to shoot. I’m not nervous anymore, I’m just angry. How dare they try to control us, dare to force us to comply with their treaties. I might not be able to shoot any of the Neimodians, but I want to get rid of all these ugly droids, want to blast them into tiny pieces, want to eliminate every trace of them from Naboo. Suddenly we stop, just when we are about to exit the hangar. What is that? Is it a ghost from the battles long ago, is it a demon, all black and red. Don’t be silly, Rira, ghosts don’t exist, but it was hideous, and he was using the same kind of lasersword as the jedi use. No, not really the same, this was double bladed, and it glowed like a sky on fire, a glow like blood. I have never seen anything like it, I think, we can’t pass him, but the jedi pursue him into the palace. The queen leads us to another corridor, but the fire from the droids makes it almost impossible to advance, we don’t have that much time. Amidala decides to take a smaller group with her and climb the walls of the palace, it’s daring I admit that. I have to follow Sabé and the main part of our group, we must make sure that those in the throne room don’t suspect what Amidala is doing. So we continue in to the west corridor. Hopefully we wont loose too much time, taking this way instead of the hall that was so heavily defended. This part of the palace seems to be strangely deserted, where is everybody? A blast zings beside me, the man on my left falls down, I have no time to see if he’s ok or not. I have to shoot, just like the others, we have to get out of this ambush. We are blasting away at the patrol, and one by one they fall down, but we aren’t as many as we were from the start either. Can’t think of that now, we have to go on have to continue our fight. Sabé rushes on as soon as the lasers from the last of the druids have gone silent. -No, don’t turn left!, I shout at her and finally she hears me and stops, looking back, confused. I know this palace inside out, and now I know what to do. I’m sure that our enemies haven’t discovered even half of all the secret doors and hidden corridors that exist around here. We sneak in through one of the doors, I wasn’t lost we are in the music rehearsal chamber. We can still hear the fight, but most of our group has followed us in here, the one’s left are only a diversion now. So, now where is that hidden door I’m looking for? It is somewhere between the holos of the royal chamber orchestra and the display case of older instruments. Now in hindsight it’s amusing what you can find when you don’t want to practice anymore, and your teacher has gone away. On the other hand it's not amusing at all that I have to use my discovery during a battle. Finally here it is! The door slides open without a sound, I hope that I will remember the right way once we are inside. The corridor is dusty and dark, it hasn’t been used in year. It seems much narrower now than when I first found it, well it was 10 years ago. We have to gin a line, squeezing us around some of the corners, I can’t see but I hear that some of the guards that have followed us have a hard time getting through. It seems as if it takes an eternity to walk the short distance, but finally the path widens and then comes to an end. This is it, this door should take us into the antechamber outside of the throne room. Sabé manages to pass me, she still has to act like the queen, she has to lead us now. I hear how she takes a deep breath, and then we push the door open. The rest of the group follow us as we advance to the throne room. The doors are open, Padmé is already in there, but she is in trouble. The Neimodians have surrounded them with destroyer droids, come on Sabé do something. -Viceroy, your occupation here has ended, she says all of a sudden, with as much confidence as Amidala has ever used, and they are falling for it. I take a shot on the nearest destroyer as they leave Padmé and start to hunt us instead. We run through the corridor, there’s no use in trying to hide, these droids are way too powerful, they would blast anything in their way out of their way. Then it’s all silent, we don’t hear blasts, we don’t hear how the droids are closing in on us. It’s just our own gasping, as we are trying to catch our breaths after the run. The silence must mean that we have won, the pilots have taken out the droid control ship, or the Padmé has gained control inside the throne room. Suddenly the air inside the corridor is all heavy, I can’t breathe in here, I need to get out, I need some fresh air. I run to the nearest balcony, I need to open the doors fast. I feel sick, I feel weak, I feel sadness, and happiness all at the same time. My legs can’t support me anymore and I just fall down, clutching the railing. The tears are flooding my eyes, I can’t stop it. I haven’t cried like this for a long time, during this trying time I haven’t shed a tear, and now they are all coming, I feel how my cheeks get all wet, taste the salt of my own tears as they find their way down my face. I could have died today, my friends could have died today, it could all have gone so wrong. -Are you all right, my lady? It’s one of the guards who have found me, out here, it is a bit embarrassing, but I can’t help it. - Yes, I’m fine, I just need some time for myself, my voice almost cracks when I answer him, but I’m not lying. Maybe I’m not feeling good, but I’m ok, I’m alive, we are all victorious. Naboo evening The burning flames are casting themselves up towards the darkening sky, as if they want to make contact with the distant stars that I can see through the openings of the funeral temple. It’s so silent, I hear nothing but the flames eating away on the wood and the remains of the noble jedi and the silent chanting of the choir outside. Hidden in the shadows of my cloak I study the faces around me, most of them look weary and tired, longing for rest, longing for peace. It has been a hard time for us all, for Naboo. I’m standing behind the queen, but to the side so that I can barely see her face. She looks proud, and at the same time sadder than I’ve seen her before. Not many would be able to notice that sad look upon her face, it is well hidden behind all the ceremonial make up, but I have been around long enough to recognize that the strains of the last weeks have taken a toll on her. She isn’t the innocent girl that was elected queen anymore, she is a regent who has faced all the hardship of governing. The nights are colder now then they were before we left, the humid heat has gone away and I’m glad that my cloak is made of heavy velvet. There is a chill in the air I haven’t felt before, a chill that makes me shiver even though I can feel the heat from the pyre. Is it the realisation that the politics don’t work anymore, that the liberation of Naboo was won by brute force, and that this is a funeral pyre not only for the noble jedi master, not only a memorial service to the slain pilots and soldiers, it also feels like it is a wake for our culture. The politics don’t work anymore, all the time that I’ve spent working within administration has been a waste of time, nothing can be done if you don’t have money or guns. Coruscant opened my eyes, was it too late? Didn’t the other see the corruption that was rampant in the senate? I don’t think that I will be able to continue this for long. It is a charade, and I’m not an actor. I can’t just stand idly behind the queen while she is taking decisions I don’t agree with. So far I have supported her, but I think that our views have diverged too much with this whole affair. Maybe it was good that I lost the elections, it’s easier for me to leave now, on the other hand can I leave? Where should I go? I am Eirtaé Saccariva Vallimé, my whole life has been spent at the court and in public service. I may not be the best handmaiden material, but I am a Naboo noble. Do I really want to leave this world? It’s safe, and I still hope that what we do make a difference to our citizens, even if we don’t have much to say in the Republic. Maybe if I remain here I will be able change the system from within, concentrate on what should be done and do it. If I stay as a handmaiden I don’t really have to worry about politics at all though, I could do as Rabé and Saché and concentrate on serving the queen. The ceremony is over, the queen is leaving. I fall into my place beside Rabé and trails the queen, when Sabé isn’t serving we two are the senior handmaidens, Saché and Cordé are the juniors serving tonight. I follow the queen, two steps behind, at the same time spying in the crowd. The Trade Federation may have been defeated, but you never know if the left an assassin behind to revenge their humiliation. Is this what my life will look like for the next years? Serving the queen, helping her with protocol, trying hard not to be noticed by anybody else. It is a simple life, why do I feel so split if can go on with it or not. After all I enjoy being in the centre of the storm, I wouldn’t be able to be here and I wouldn’t have been able to actively liberate Naboo if I had just been one of the defeated candidates of the royal elections. Theed Palace early afternoon It’s been a week since our return. It’s strange how fast everything has gone back to normality again like if the invasion never happened. It has been a busy week though, I still haven’t had time to meet my family in private, only when they came back to the court and I served. Maybe that was one of the reason for me to finally make this decision, the fact that I can’t decide for myself what to do with my time. I think the queen suspects this, and I’ve chosen to make this as official as possible. I’m wearing my own clothes, not one of the gowns I wear when I’m on duty, also I’ve chosen to seek the queen up in the throne room, not in private as I could have. Strange, just one week ago I stood in this same antechamber, prepared to burst in and save the queen. I was nervous then, and I feel a bit nervous now too, I don’t know why really. I’m sure that I’ve taken the right decision, and I’ve never been afraid to talk to anyone. I walk in, Amidala is sitting there flanked by Sabé and Saché. How many times have I’ve been sitting there, just listening, doing my best not to draw any attention to me. There is something different with the room though, or is it just the fact that there are more guards in there then I have never seen before. Only handmaidens are apparently not enough for captain Panaka anymore. Well there’s no use just standing here silently. I take a deep breath. -Your Highness, I have after long consideration decided that I want to leave. I have been one of your handmaidens since your elections, but with recent events I’ve decided that I can’t go on anymore. Now that wasn’t so hard to say was it. - This comes as a surprise for me, Eirtaé Vallimé, the queen says with a firm voice. Something in her tone makes me believe that she isn’t so surprised though, and she shouldn’t be. There are many girls around here in the palace who are dreaming of becoming handmaidens, I’ve never been one of those, I wanted something more. I only chose to serve as a handmaiden out of respect for my opponent, and I couldn’t refuse when the queen asked me. - What are you going to do, Amidala continues, you have been working in this palace for most of your life. You aren’t leaving it all I hope. - Yes, I am your Highness. As you said yourself I’ve been involved in the palace as long as I can remember. I think that the time has come to do something else. Like getting a real life, instead of wasting my time on useless politics, I won’t say that to her though. I don’t think she can think of living a life without politics, when I was in her age I wouldn’t have either. - You say that you want to leave Theed, could I ask you to do just one more thing for me, she is dragging out on it, I knew she had something planned. She is intelligent enough to have seen my decision coming. -The governor of the Mardona region have resigned due to bad health after the invasion. Would you be willing to take his place, I would be very grateful to know that the region would be in good hands. So that was it, she wants me to stay in touch with politics after all. On the other hand, being a governor maybe means that I don’t have to think that much about politics. I could just concentrate on helping the inhabitants. Mardona is beautiful too, small but surrounded by the mountains and with lakes as beautiful as those in the Lake District. I’ve always liked it when I’ve been there for holidays, maybe I should give it a try. And I can’t refuse when the queen asks me, can I? - I accept, it is an honour to be commissioned by the queen to serve as governor, well at least most people would see it that way. It’s a good thing though, I will leave Theed and I will get some time to be for myself. Outside Theed palace morning I’m leaving now, I don’t think that I’ve ever felt happier. The sun is shining brighter than before, the flowers are filling the air with more perfumes than usual. It’s a lovely day. It also feels great to be dressed in my own clothes, I didn't have to think about anything but myself when I chose this dress this morning. And there is way too few blue dresses in the handmaiden wardrobe. My transport will arrive at any moment and take me away from this place. I never thought that I would feel happy when I left Theed, but I am. Mother and father are waiting for me in Mardona, they have made sure that our summerhouse is fit for living again. I haven’t decided if I want to live there or reside in the governor’s palace. I don’t have to hurry with that decision yet. Governor Saccariva Vallimé, now that wasn’t something I had thought about. Not in the rural Mardona region at least. In a way it feels as if I’m starting on an adventure, and it’s my adventure, I will decide what will happen from now on. I was never a good handmaiden, I hope I will be a great governor though.